Jalapeño. Old nemesis. Jalapeños are one of the very few food intolerances I have. Habaneros, serranos, poblanos… all totally fine but jalapeños for some reason are not. I don’t know why, but what I do know is that although they enter my body in the typical manner, they inevitably exit my body with the fury of an army of screeching, armor-clad demons on horseback. Demonic armies or not, I’m a stubborn fucker. I said I was going to try all of these and that twisted path has led me here to this forsaken place. I’ve probably made worse decisions.